The Babysitter

I once read something that said “A vacation with kids is not a vacation.  It’s a trip.”.  Hahahaha.  I totally agree.  At least if those kids are under the age of 5.

As I write this, we’re about 2.5 weeks in to our trip.  To be honest, Jack (4.5) has generally done really well.  He’s climbed 380 steps to the top of the Onze-Lieve-Vrouwetoren (tower) in Amersfoort, sat nicely for a 45 minute canal boat tour and managed to act like a human at restaurants on more occasions than not – although we do have to play endless games of I Spy, color a lot of pictures and pull Matchbox cars out of my bag like a magician.  If he didn’t have to take a nap each afternoon and go to bed at 8 p.m., he’d be a good hang-out buddy.

Then there is Ben.  He will be 2 in a few months.  Eating, taking any kind of organized tour,  or even walking down the street with Ben has been a disaster.  He’s really only happy if we’re at an activity specifically made for kids.  Like a playground.  Or the pool.  If we’re not at one of those places, he is trying to run away, having a breakdown because we won’t let him run away, throwing the toys I brought to attempt to entertain him, or refusing to eat food that he just ate the day before.  Toddlers are difficult creatures to socialize with.

Rewind to January 2018 and we had just agreed to the home exchange with the family in the Netherlands and purchased our flights.  It was starting to sink in that this trip was really happening.  Then I started to get nervous.

We had this incredible opportunity to take our family to Europe for two months and we were going to be spending it rushing home for naps every afternoon, eating dinners as fast as we could at restaurants with squirmy kids, taking turns visiting non-kid-friendly museums and sitting on the couch after the kids went to bed at 8 p.m. staring at each other.

So, I had a crazy idea.  What if we brought a babysitter with us?  This seemed like a better idea than trying to find one in the Netherlands.  Someone we brought with us could meet the kids a few times before we left, be available at a variety of times while on vacation and our kids would likely trust them more.

One night in March, Brian and I were out on a date and I brought up the babysitter idea.  What if we offered to pay for their flight and provided room and board?  In exchange, this person would babysit the kids for up to 20 hours a week while Brian and I went out to dinner, took a bike ride during nap time, or visited a museum?  On days when they weren’t watching the kids, they would be free to explore the city, take day trips to other areas of the Netherlands, or even weekend trips to Paris or other cities if they wanted.  I figured that for much less than 2 weeks of day care costs for the kids in Madison (which we aren’t paying this summer since the kids are with us), we could have the best of both worlds – plenty of time to explore the city as a family, and the ability to turn our trip into a real vacation.

On the flip side, bringing a babysitter we hardly knew could also turn our dream vacation into a disaster.  What if the person we brought with ended up being really strange?  Every morning when we woke up for breakfast and every evening when we were just hanging out, this person would be there.  We went back and forth for several weeks as to whether we really wanted to pursue this idea, but finally, in mid April, we decided to post an ad on the University of Wisconsin-Madison online job board and see what happened.

I tried to be very direct and upfront in the ad.  I wrote “You will not come home from this trip with more money than you left with.  In fact, you will have less because you will spend money while on the trip.  We’re looking for someone who wants to experience a new culture for 2 months.”

I noted that their financial responsibilities would include “…food outside the home, lodging for side trips you choose to take, spending money for entertainment (unless we ask you to take the kids somewhere), and transportation if you’re not riding the bike we will provide.”  We would fly them to the Netherlands, give them a place to stay and food to eat.

I received about a dozen email inquiries and ended up with three serious applicants.  We invited each of the girls over to our house for an interview and to meet the kids.  We picked Haley.  She was due to graduate in May, had a lot of previous experience with kids, had done volunteer work, held down basically a full-time job while going to school and had previous international travel experience.  She was excited about the opportunity to travel to a new place and seemed laid back, low maintenance and easy to get along with.  We bought her plane ticket the weekend she graduated from college – and 6 weeks before we were set to leave for the Netherlands.

We decided that Haley would meet us in Amersfoort on July 12 and leave on August 25.  This gave us a few days on either end of our trip to spend time alone with our family.  We also had a 1 week trip to Belgium planned where Haley would not be joining us because the Airbnb’s we had already booked were too small for all of us.  This gave her a week off to travel and in exchange, she would watch the kids for 3 days/2 nights while Brian and I vacationed in London for a few days.

As I write this, it’s day 3 of our 1-week Belgium trip and I already miss Haley.  The kids love her (Ben says “Haley” in the cutest little voice) and Brian and I enjoy having help around the house.  Her presence has already allowed us to take a 30 mile bike ride to/from Utrecht, have the most delicious dinner with Alicia and Michael at Albert’s on the Hof, meet friendly locals at the Dikke Koning bar, and turn this trip into a real vacation.  I’m excited for the upcoming weeks and future adventures in Amsterdam and around Amersfoort.

When we were debating about whether or not to basically bring a stranger on our vacation, a woman in one of the Facebook groups I’m in said “Yes, sometimes people turn out to suck. But sometimes people turn out to be awesome.”.

So far, Haley’s been awesome and I’m glad we took a chance and invited her to come with us.  Having her along has made the following moments possible – and I’m looking forward to more!